Tweet Clouds

Three months’ worth of tweets:

Six months’ worth of tweets:

I wish Tweet Cloud had realized Bill was a proper noun so that the word represented my husband in the cloud and didn’t appear as if I have some sort of debt problem.

#Tweetsgiving

Inspired by my friends Scott and Angie, and in the spirit of Epic Change’s #Tweetsgiving, I am posting a short entry on some things for which I am thankful.

Bill — My husband, my partner, my best friend, he is a well of patience and empathy and gratitude that I should hardly deserve. I am thankful for all of those things as well as his love, his  companionship, his sense of humor, and his idiosyncrasies. I am thankful to have found someone who is willing to share an introspective relationship and really work at a conscious marriage with me.

Anna — My stepdaughter, a beautiful child with a sharp mind, she is so much like I was at her age in some ways and so totally opposite in others. I am thankful to get to experience her perspective on the world, to bask in her compliments (I know my time to be cool is so close to over), and to learn from the less-than-easy challenges we share. I am thankful to have the chance to not do to her (let’s hope) some of the things that were done to me at the hands of a well-meaning stepmother.

Goocher — My impossibly cute mutt, my ungrateful mongrel, he is a walking lesson on living in the moment. I am thankful to have a dog that likes to cuddle on the sofa, that greets us at the door with wiggles so fierce they nearly bend his body in half, and that has a great dog-smell. I am thankful that he loves me unconditionally (even when he is acting like a jerk).

My Family — Related by blood, marriage, or simply strong ties and shared history, they are people who I know I can count on. Whether we are in touch a few times a week, a few times a month, every few months, or every few years, I am always thankful to have them in my thoughts and know that I am in theirs.

My Friends — My high school & college classmates & teachers, my former & current work colleagues, my I-know-you-from-Twitter buddies, my friend-of-a-friend new acquaintances, they are people who make me laugh, keep me grounded, and further my belief that humans are fundamentally good, social creatures who naturally want to be part of a community. I am thankful for the  experiences we share: happy stories, sad stories, meals, music, movies, memories.

First-World Status and Technology — The very real advantages I have — making a decent wage at a decent company with decent benefits; having access to and using utilities like running, potable water, free-flowing electricity, high-speed internet, and signal for my mobile phone; eating nutritious food regularly; living in stable, comfortable shelter; utilizing modern medicine/techniques to keep me free of disease and mitigate my ailments; and enjoying the world at my fingertips thanks to Google (not only the search engine but Gmail, Maps, and Reader), Twitter, and everything else the interwebs has to offer — are not lost on me. I am thankful to live where I do and have what I have. I am thankful to have opportunities to give to those who need help, both in time and money.

I am thankful to have known so much love over the years. I am thankful for a future filled with more love.

Pumpkin Pie Ice Cream

I made gingerbread cupcakes with pumpkin cream cheese frosting* on Halloween and, therefore, had most of a can of pureed pumpkin remaining.  Since Bill asked demanded last year, after several autumn-themed culinary experiments, that I not “make anything else orange,”  pumpkin soup, pumpkin pasta, and essentially any other savory pumpkin dish were ruled out. I didn’t want to waste almost a whole can of pumpkin — have you heard of the Great Pumpkin Shortage of `09? — and so I decided to look for a recipe that called for about two cups of pumpkin puree. No need, turned out, as inspiration came to me in the form of a tweet from Craft: magazine which led me to this recipe. I bet I can do something like that! I thought. And then I did.

2 cups half-and-half
3/4 cup brown sugar
5 egg yolks
15-oz. can of pumpkin puree (or most of it)
1/2 tsp. ground cinnamon**
1/4 tsp. ground ginger**
1/8 tsp. ground nutmeg**
1/8 tsp. ground allspice**
5 oz. of shortbread cookies, broken into pieces***

1. Heat the half-and-half and brown sugar in a saucepan.
2. Beat the egg yolks in a bowl.
3. Gradually add some of the warm half-and-half to the beaten egg yolks, stirring constantly as you pour. Pour the warmed yolks into the saucepan.
4. Cook over low heat, stirring regularly with a heat-resistant spatula until the mixture thickens enough to coat the spatula. This is your custard base.
5. Combine the pumpkin puree with the spices in a bowl big enough to hold them + the custard.
6. Add the custard to the pumpkin mixture and whisk to combine.
7. Chill thoroughly, preferably overnight,
8. Freeze the mixture in your ice cream maker according to manufacturer’s directions. A few minutes before the end of churning, add the shortbread cookie pieces to the soft ice cream.

*I used Trader Joe’s Deep Dark Gingerbread Baking Mix for the cupcakes and merely spread on the frosting instead of elaborately piping it on as Recipe Girl did. This method yielded twice as much frosting as needed for 12 cupcakes, so I made another batch two weeks later.

**This adds up to one teaspoon of pumpkin pie spice, which I didn’t have (and, frankly, don’t keep on hand because I have all of the ingredients).

***I used one sleeve of a 10-oz. package of Lorna Doone cookies. Okay, I used 4 cookies less than one sleeve because that’s how many I ate while breaking them up by hand.

Take One Verdict: Very pumpkin-y. I still liked it but, had I used the whole can of puree, it might not be sweet enough for me. I think next time I will increase the sugar and maybe the spices too. It was also less creamy than I’d prefer but I think that was because I didn’t cook the custard long enough; I will stick with the same custard base formula next time and cook it until it’s thicker next time.

Unexpected Turn of Events

Bill and I were working toward becoming a one-income household. It was slightly frightening in a what-will-happen, can-we-really-do-it kind of way but I found the idea very exciting. I was looking forward to days ahead where I could really take care of myself, Bill, Anna, the dogs, the house, etc. — you know, focus all of my energies on that instead of half-heartedly giving it a shot at the end of the workday or workweek. I anticipated what it would be like to cook, clean, plan, exercise, blog, and otherwise handle the everyday without being tired, sad, or angry from the stress that my job outside the home gives me. Yes, we would have much less money coming in, but I was hoping that would be a chance to simplify our lives, discover what really matters to us, and challenge our resourcefulness. We had started to plan for when it would begin, what our expenses would be, how we would handle changes to our schedules and responsibilities and, most importantly, medical benefits.

See, medical benefits are a big deal in our house, as they are around the U.S. Bill lost his job at the beginning of this year (thanks, U.S. economy!)  and with it his medical coverage. Since that left him and Anna without insurance, and Anna’s mother wouldn’t add the child to her plan, and the cost of private plans is prohibitive, Bill and I married in February so that I could add him and Anna to my plan. The plan I have is provided through my employer. If I were to quit work then I would lose access to this plan — well, there’s COBRA, but that costs nearly twice as much as the mortgage to cover the three of us — and we would have to find an alternative. Bill did find work and was in the process of using his employer to access insurance but this new place of business is too small to get the kind of plan that I get for the price that I pay. We were cautiously optimistic about finding medical coverage with a price that wouldn’t make us choose between food and medicine with only one income in the future.

And then life threw us a curve ball: I have been diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. Well, technically I have been diagnosed with clinically isolated syndrome, which is MS that isn’t yet multiple, but I am going to start treatment for MS. Which means that I am going to have expensive medical bills and am likely uninsurable when shopping around for a new plan thanks to a pre-existing condition. Which means that my dream to quit my job and become a home manager has been dashed — woe is me.

Let’s look for the silver lining, shall we?

• The diagnosis came while I was still gainfully employed and therefore in possession of (1) a nice paycheck and (2) medical coverage that has no lifetime coverage limit or pre-existing condition clauses.
• The diagnosis came during the benefits enrollment period at work. That means that I was able to choose an insurance plan, a vacation plan, and a flexible spending account amount that will make 2010 much more do-able in light of this new wrinkle. Had the news come just a few weeks later then I would have made much different choices, which would have made 2010 more difficult to bear.
• This abrupt change of plans has given me a kick in the pants to research other options with my employer, whether it is part-time work, change of department, or change of focus altogether. Maybe having MS will help my career, who knows.
• This sudden coming-to-terms with the state of my health now and in the long run is motivating me to seriously think about making exercise and good food a priority in a real way. Wouldn’t it be ironic if, looking back, being diagnosed with MS was the starting point to a much healthier life for me?
• The diagnosis came now, when I am married to a wonderful partner, and not at any previous time in my life. Knowing that I have Bill by my side going forward has always made the future much less scary and it helps now more than ever before. I am so lucky to have a loving, caring, compassionate husband.

Ah, nostalgia.

Saw this video thanks to @sethmeyers21:

Of the movies John Hughes directed, I think my favorite is Ferris Beuller’s Day Off followed by Uncle Buck. I miss John Candy.

Madison Avenue, we’re ready!

Here’s what we’d look like if we were characters on Mad Men. (Hey, everybody else was doing it!)

We no longer subscribe to a cable TV service so that means no more Mad Men for me as far as I can tell for as far as I can see into the future. I would watch it online but I can only find the first two seasons, which leads me to believe that online episodes are a season behind (like videos) , which means I won’t get to watch Season 4 until Season 5 premieres. <sigh> And just when I was starting to be cool…

9 Signs I’ve Met The One

eHarmony Advice tweeted a link to an article called 9 Signs You’ve Met The One. I read through the article and decided to use it to publicly examine, point by point, my relationship with Bill. Keep in mind that I am speaking in the first person because the only one whose feelings I can truly account for is me.

1) I’m Not Chasing the Relationship’s Potential
In the beginning I would say that, yes, we had a relationship fraught with obstacles. In many ways we still do — we both have jobs that can be stressful, one of us has an ex that is hard to deal with, we have vastly different styles of parenting (not to mention that the child is not ours, so to speak), and I’m sure each of us has habits that the other finds distasteful. But I realized that these are issues that aren’t going away — if anything, we’re likely to gain more obstacles over time — and the difference would be to change my perspective. To paraphrase Reinhold Neibuhr, I sought/seek to accept the things that I can’t change. Life is challenging and hoping for a relationship that’s not is foolish.

2) Who I Am Is Good Enough
Bill loves me for who I am. I have never felt that to be so true with anyone else. He is proud of me. He thinks I am smart, sexy, and fun to be with. He tells me those things all the time. I love Bill for who he is. I am proud of him. I am attracted to his mind, his body, his sense of humor. I hope I adequately express those feelings to him.

3) We Manage Conflict Well
We fight. It’s true. But our arguments don’t involve insults or violence or destruction. And more times than not they lead to discussions that ultimately mitigate future conflicts about the same issues. We made it a point to seek out and learn tools that would help us gain a deeper understanding of one another with each conflict that we resolve together. We are not masters at this, but we try. Hard. And I look forward to being part of an even stronger couple as time goes on because of that effort.

4) The Mundane Is Suddenly Interesting
The minutiae of Bill’s life doesn’t capture my attention all the time — okay, hardly ever — but the small details of our life can come alive. I adore his sense of humor and, although I give him a hard time about being ridiculous sometimes, I am so glad to have him around to lighten the mood. His reported conversations with the dog are hilarious plus, as KT says, he does the best Goocher and Charlie voices.

5) There’s Minimal Drama
I fight fair — my parents did not fight fair and I’ve always made it a point to avoid being hurtful like that to someone else. I might not always admit when I’m wrong, listen to Bill, or acknowledge his good points, but I try to as much as possible; every time I miss one of those opportunities and I find out about it, that’s one more chance for me to be more self-aware for the next time. I apologize when I cross the line. I can be full of high emotions, sure, but I am careful not to use them to consciously manipulate Bill or cause turbulence for the sake of drama. He exhibits all of these behaviors for me — some better than I do — and certainly deserves my best effort in return.

6) My Friends and Family See What I See
I definitely fell in love with and married someone who the people in my life want me to be with. My friends and family all enjoy Bill’s company and think he is a great partner to/for me.

7) I Know How To Make Him Happy
I know what Bill wants and needs. I know that I know because he tells me that I know. I also know that I know because when I say, “Here’s a [movie, meal, book, website, article, shirt, etc.] that you’ll like,” I am usually on the mark. I also know that I know because I try hard to understand those things, I work at it, and I strive to meet those wants and needs. I don’t know what Bill wants and needs because of some we-were-just-meant-to-be-together, mind-reading magic, I know because I seek to know and he is mature enough to share with me.

8) We Have The Same Life Priorities
Our priorities in life, our core values, match up well. I look into to the future and imagine growing old with a partner who is honest, emotionally balanced, financially responsible, supportive, open-minded, and kind-hearted, and I see Bill with me. He is that partner.

9) I Respect Him Deeply
I respect Bill. I think he is a good man. More than love him, I like him. He has chosen a path in life that shows what good character he has. Even when I am annoyed (or infuriated) at some decision he has made, and I am questioning why on Earth he thought it was a good idea, I never have to question his motives because I know that they originate in the desire to do right by others.

I have met the one for me. Lucky for me he’s also the guy I married.

We need more hawks.

Shot from inside the house through my screen door.

I bought this bird feeder because it was not supposed to accommodate squirrels. This guy looks fairly accommodated, no?

I noticed that the lid of the feeder has been twisted off when I come home from work. It had tell-tale scratch marks on it so I knew it was a squirrel. What I didn’t know was that the damn squirrel was sitting INSIDE the bird feeder while he/she ate seed meant for the birds. Jerk.

Resolution accomplished.

I made one New Year’s resolution for 2009 and that was to start a compost pile in some shape or form. Today I fulfilled that resolution. First I bought a 115-gallon “super composter” made of 90% recycled materials at Lowe’s (#219273, not found on website, $49.97). Then I assembled said super composter — no tools required! — and placed it in our back yard in a spot that gets sun and water. Then I put in watermelon rinds and strawberry stems. Exciting, right? It’s only a matter of time before our “kitchen and yard waste [turns] into useable nutrition for all plants.”

For some reason this costs twice as much elsewhere.

That’s my name, don’t wear it out!

Spell with flickr, created by kastner, found these letters for me. Awesome, right?